The true story behind Easter

A long time ago on the moon there lived a giant nest birds made from marshmallows. The birds were ruled by an evil overlord, who was a pink invisible unicorn, ruled them. He made the birds feed him their eggs, which were made out of a substance called chocolate. While this substance does nothing for humans it gave the unicorn god like powers. But there was one capable of stooping the evil unicorn, a bunny called Easter. But he was not yet powerful enough to defeat the unicorn, so he wrote a letter to his local physics congressman and was able to change the laws of physics allowing him to do things that would have been impossible before. But once the Bunny arrived on the moon, he did not kill the unicorn but rather asked how he could be invisible yet still be pink. This paradox then caused the unicorns head to explode like the death star only more awesome. Then the birds made the bunny their ruler and good times were had by all as he ruled for the rest of the week as a benevolent leader thing. But one day the birds were tired and decided that they didn't want to work, but instead wanted to update their myspace pages. This called the bunny to become very angry and so he yelled at the birds and forced them to work in his cheese mines. And at first they feared him and good times were had by all again. But eventually the birds rebelled and an epic battle was raged across the moon, I mean really epic like ten times more epic then that battle in the third lord of the rings movie. But eventually the bunny succeeded in killing the birds. He now feeds us the bodies of the dead birds and calls them peeps because that's the last thing they said when they died. He also returns to earth every year to lay the eggs left over from the invisible unicorns regime as a trap to lure out any of his followers or descendants. So what are you waiting for hurry up and paint the eggs and look busy before he kills us all.